


Goody Two-Shoes (I Love You)

by AnarchyandArmistice



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Bat mention, Crying, Food mention, Hurt No Comfort, I Made Myself Cry, Introspection, Licking Cookie dough off someone's cheek, M/M, Pain, Possibly Unrequited Love, Realizing you're in love, Remus Has Emotions, You Have Been Warned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-26
Updated: 2019-12-26
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:20:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,198
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21977233
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnarchyandArmistice/pseuds/AnarchyandArmistice
Summary: Remus can't believe he's done this, he thinks, speed walking down the dark corridor toward his moldy green door.He really, genuinely, from the bottom of his black, deadened heart, can't. Fucking believe it.(Remus doesn't deserve Patton. And that's okay).
Relationships: Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders
Comments: 7
Kudos: 74





	Goody Two-Shoes (I Love You)

Remus can't believe he's done this, he thinks, speed walking down the dark corridor toward his moldy green door.

  


He really, genuinely, from the bottom of his black, deadened heart, can't. Fucking believe it. 

  


Which is a bit overkill to say, because he also cannot fucking lie, oh great joys of being the source of someone's intrusive thoughts. 

  


But he can't–he absolutely just does not have the capacity for this.

  


'Cause Remus is in–capital 'I,' capital 'L'–In Love with Patton.

  


Fucking _Patton_. Patton, who bakes cookies with all the right ingredients and no gasoline at all. Patton, who calls himself 'dad' without a second thought to how some people (call a spade a spade, Remus, how _you)_ could interpret it.

  


Patton, who is just about the biggest goody two-shoes in the mind scape.

  


Jesus H. Christ.

  


Remus, who is rightly a tad shaken by this development, throws open the door to his grimy, stained room (it–he says, often, it's just how he likes it, and it _is,_ but maybe he might like it like this for the wrong reasons. Not that anyone really cares, of course) and flops onto his unmade bed, shoving his face into the pillow and letting out a shriek to end all shrieks. He wouldn't be surprised if Dee heard it, even through all his soundproofing.

  


Goddamnit.

  


Damn it, damn it, damn it.

  


Remus pounds at his pillow in time to his spiraling, petulant thoughts, ignoring the burn of tears in his eyes for now.

  


Face down on his pillow with his eyes shut tight, the world is dark and full to bursting with possibilities. Remus could explore a made-up world where he is not the way he is, and Patton likes him.

  


They could get married, in Remus' made-up little world, and raise a kid, and be happy, if Remus chose to think of it.

  


Remus does not.

  


Instead, he tries to imagine wooing Patton while he is the way he is.

  


(Because Patton doesn't need to change. In this reality, or Remus' dark little pillow-world. Patton has never needed to change. Patton is perfect, in Remus' eyes).

  


He could flirt, the way he does with Logan, all innuendos and horribly timed stripping that usually culminates in his dear brother getting an eyeful of Remus' bare ass, the lucky man. (Not that Roman thinks so).

  


And Patton would be uncomfortable, and embarrassed, and not in any of the good ways, because Patton is lovely and sweet and would want, y'know, quiet poems, and cookies, and honeydew pet names, and Remus...

  


Remus probably _could_ do that. If he tried really hard. He just...

  


Isn't that far more embarrassing? Stripping is just showing off assets. Pet names are love.

  


Remus ignores the tears dripping from his eye sockets. He _does._ He does, he does, he _does._

  


(He doesn't lie to his host, or other people. He said nothing about lying to himself).

  


Or, wonder of all wonders, he could get Patton a gift or two. (Thousand).

  


He could get Patton a bat. Bats are fluffy, right? And they eat spiders. And they let people brush their fur with toothbrushes, Remus thinks. Easy to love, right? Even if he made it?

  


But bats are symbols of vampires, and vampires are bad, and _Remus_ would make the bat, so it'd probably end up drinking blood instead of devouring spiders, and who's to say Patton would even want the spiders dead?

  


So again, Patton would be right in thinking that Thomas accepting his 'Dark Sides,' as Remus' lovely brother so eloquently put it, was a horrible idea.

  


And, really, Remus is fantastic at proving that already. He doesn't need to do so more than once a week.

  


Besides, what he'd actually try, if Remus were stupid enough to do _any_ of these ideas, would be spending quality one-on-one time with Patton. 

  


He likes that, right? Spending time with everyone? Like today, when Remus and Patton were making cookies (real, normal cookies, that Remus was trying so hard not to add any explosive or poisonous ingredients to out of habit) and Remus had gotten a little too enthusiastic with the mixer and spilled cookie dough all over himself, and a little landed on his cheekbone, and when he went to wipe it off, Patton'd grabbed his hand, gently, like he was trying to hold it, and not just keep Remus from fucking everything up even worse. And Remus' heart had been beating faster than a baby bird's wings as it flew into an unseen jet turbine, and Patton had leaned up, in close to Remus' personal space, which was odd, because no one ever wants to get that close to Remus, but Patton did anyway, because Patton is so, so good–

  


And Patton licked that cookie dough right off Remus' cheek.

  


Remus thinks he might've blacked out for a moment, after that. He thinks he might've choked, and sputtered out something about seeing a porno start that way.

  


He knows he made a hasty and inglorious retreat, and now he's here. On his messy bed. With his face mashed in a pillow.

  


He knows he's outright sobbing, now, and there's nothing he can do about it.

  


Because Remus knows, from the wet of his bones to the squish of his meat, that Patton is never going to like him, let alone feel... _things_ for him. Remus is all the bad pieces of Thomas. He's not like Dee, who's only trying to protect Thomas' interests, or Virgil, who just wants Thomas safe. Remus doesn't know what happened, or how or why, but when he and Roman split, his brother got all of the wonderful, and Remus got all the wrong.

  


It's Patton's job to decide between the two, and to keep Thomas from choosing Remus. That's not his fault. He's just... too good. Too right, for Remus to taint. To corrupt with his... Remus-ness.

  


Patton is his antithesis, and all Remus will ever be to him is a nuisance. A bother to deal with and then forget, like a fly buzzing incessantly around Patton's head.

  


It's only because he's so nice, that Patton let Remus come when Thomas accepted the whole lot of his darker traits, and didn't let him spiral into insanity in the Subconscious all by himself. And Remus is grateful, really.

  


He's just... Still Remus. Still selfish, annoying, and monstrous.

  


And his selfish heart wants Patton to love him back. Wants to not be alone. Wants, wants, wants.

  


Remus snorts. The word doesn't even sound like a word anymore.

  


He huffs, watery and more like a sniffle than anything else, turning onto his side and wrapping his arms around his pillow. Remus tucks his nose into the fabric because his room is freezing, and even if he deserves it, that doesn't mean he's comfortable. He wishes, more than anything, that his only pillowcase, ratty as it is, smelled just a bit like the stupid (delicious and impossible to find for it) Old Spice deodorant Patton was wearing today.

  


And he cries, a lot, too. 

  


Because sometimes people don't _get_ (don't _deserve)_ a happily ever after. And crying helps with that, a little.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, hi, hello! 
> 
> I should probably just make a series called 'Fuck you, Remus,' at this point.
> 
> I apologize, but hey, I already cried today, so forgive me if I'm not feeling super sympathetic.
> 
> I hope your day goes up from here!


End file.
